


Closing the Loop

by esteefee



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Bottom Rodney, F/M, First Time, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Secondary pairing is not explicit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-23
Updated: 2015-07-23
Packaged: 2018-04-10 14:11:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4394912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/esteefee/pseuds/esteefee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John's ex is back and his poor broken heart is in peril; Rodney will stage an intervention if necessary. Because that's what good friends are for.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Closing the Loop

**Author's Note:**

  * For [popkin16](https://archiveofourown.org/users/popkin16/gifts).



> ...happy birthday, lambchop! Some bottom!Rodney for you. <3
> 
> Beta by the ever-brilliant Mischief5.

The break-up did not go smoothly. Not that any break-up Rodney had participated in had ever been optimal, in his opinion, but with Jennifer, more than with his previous relationships, Rodney had really, really tried. Given it his best effort. And so his disappointment had led to a fair amount of yelling on both sides. Of course, it probably would have behooved him to have sat down with her and discovered in the very beginning whether their long-term goals meshed at all.

"Turns out we weren't compatible," Rodney said, once he managed to track Sheppard down and drag him back to Rodney's quarters for the obligatory rounds of beer and commiseration owed to him. "Or, at least, we didn't have the same vision of our, erm, future lives." 

"Hmm." Sheppard passed him another beer. He'd been doing that a lot tonight. "I'm sorry, buddy."

Rodney uncapped it and drank about half in one dizzying slug then followed it with a shot. "She didn't want to be the proud mother of my genius progeny."

Sheppard's face screwed up. "You don't say." 

"Well, I didn't put it like that, of course."

"Of course not."

"But that's what it comes down to."

"Rodney..." Sheppard squirmed his shoulders a little. 

Rodney sighed. "Out with it."

"It's just..." Sheppard's eyebrows contorted. "So you find this pretty gal. She's smart, she's going somewhere fast...hell—" He ducked his head. "I've been there myself."

"Been there...oh, right." The ex-wife. The heartbreaker. The one that convinced Sheppard to be a lone wolf.

Sheppard shrugged it away. "Think about it—she loves you, yeah, but she's not going to want to drop everything and stay at home for fourteen years changing diapers and driving to soccer games. She's young; she figures she's got time." Sheppard's mouth twisted a little. "Now, maybe if you'd offered to do that part..." 

For a moment, Rodney tried to picture it—his blue-eyed son in his arms, looking up, staring at Rodney trustfully—not a bad thought. But then the diaper thing, ugh, and waking up every couple of hours to feed him, assuming Rodney was sleeping and not working on his latest project or theorem—he'd have to transfer back to the SGC, of course. Dear God, he'd have to work with that nincompoop, Lee, since Carter was stationed on the Hammond these days. It would mean leaving Atlantis forever, and his team...Rodney's mind went perfectly blank.

Sheppard was saying something about sacrifices, and compromises, and career decisions.

"...always comes down to what you want more, I guess." Sheppard finished off his beer and put the bottle aside. It was his fourth—the only explanation Rodney could find for what had loosened Sheppard's lips. Giving him a quick, shuttered look, Sheppard asked slowly, "That what you want?"

Rodney said, "Food for thought," and left it at that.

:::

The conversation stayed with him over the next few weeks as they prepared for their return to Pegasus. Rodney and Jennifer settled into a cautious armistice; Sheppard playing devil's advocate had made Rodney more conscious of being a little inflexible about what he'd considered to be a rejection on Jennifer's part, and he approached their interactions with that in mind. She seemed wary of his sudden agreeableness, but not displeased, and so Rodney got back his Criterion Collection edition of _2001: A Space Odyssey_ and his favorite 'I'm With Genius' T-shirt, and handed over her small box of sex-toys. He'd really miss that dildo, though.

Meanwhile, Rodney found himself at loose ends with all the time freed up he'd heretofore been spending with Jennifer. Teyla was, of course, hanging out with Kanaan and Torren John when she wasn't busy working on administrative tasks with Woolsey; Ronon was spending his evenings with Amelia Banks when he wasn't otherwise occupied training the new cadre of marines coming on board; and Sheppard had long since disappeared off to the Alpha site where he was training the F-302 pilots for the squadron that would protect Atlantis during this go-round.

Sheppard re-surfaced occasionally looking positively demented from the rush of constant daredevil flying, his hair shorn to fit under the helmet but still sticking up every which way as if to reflect his excitement. 

"Hey, Rodney," Sheppard said, still in his khaki green flight suit and his cheeks ruddy from whatever shenanigans he'd recently been up to. "How's tricks? Zelenka said you were spending too much time in here, so I brought you a treat from the mess." He pulled his hands out from his back. "Check it out: tapioca!" he said with glee as he dropped the two sealed cups and a spoon on Rodney's lab desk.

"Gee, thanks," Rodney said. "I'm only trying to solve the insolvable here. Pudding might definitely be the key."

"The stardrive equations, I know. Doc Z. said." Sheppard picked up one of the cups and opened it. "Come on. You love tapioca. You know, I don’t even know what it is." He shoved it into Rodney's hand and gave him the spoon.

"It's a starch extracted from the cassava root. And thanks," Rodney said, marginally less cranky. "But as your friend, it's my sincere duty to tell you: your hair looks—"

He was talking to the back of Sheppard's head.

"—Incredibly stupid," Rodney finished. Sheppard was already gone with a wave, having apparently discharged his menial service of the day. Rodney sighed and looked down at his pudding cup.

"Back to the unsolvable, I suppose." 

:::

"Would someone please explain to Dr. Turay that he's messing with a solid waste disposal unit, _not_ a food replicator, as he imagines, before something disastrous happens I can't even bear contemplating? Thank you very much." Rodney toggled off his comm then turned to Sheppard, who'd just jogged in. "You're late." Rodney couldn't help feeling grumpy, as all he'd managed to accomplish the last few days was acclimate one idiotic science recruit after another to living in a city that constituted a danger zone of Ancient technology. "Woolsey is waiting in the conference room with some Washington muckety-muck from Homeworld Security."

"Think I have time to change?" Once again, Sheppard was wearing an olive green flight suit when he dashed in looking all freshly ravished by G-forces. Rodney didn't want to think about what hijinks those pilots got up to without a real rocket scientist to go over the flight data. 

"Probably not, considering, as I said, you're already late." Rodney grabbed his coffee cup from the console and followed Sheppard up the stairs. Sheppard took them two at a time, his flight suit hugging his ass far tighter than his BDU pants were wont to. Rodney followed more slowly, giving himself free rein to enjoy the sight.

As a result, he was a step behind entering the conference room; Teyla was there, and Woolsey was already standing to introduce his guest, saying, "...Assistant Director Nancy Weisman of Homeworld Security. Director Weisman, this is our military commander, Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard."

"Director Weisman, huh?" Sheppard placed a weird emphasis on the name, but then the woman responded, saying, " _Colonel_ Sheppard," smiling and leaning with one palm on the table, the other outstretched to shake Sheppard's hand.

And then John smiled back, and Rodney saw with an inward groan she was a knockout—dark, shoulder-length hair, dark eyes and tanned skin, and a terrific figure. Of course, Sheppard was flirting, and she was flirting right back.

Woolsey cleared his throat, and they dropped the handshake. "And this is our Chief Science Officer, Dr. Rodney McKay."

Rodney stepped up and offered his hand, and she turned toward him, a polite smile on her face. "Dr. McKay," she said. "I'm looking forward to working with you; your reputation precedes you."

"Does it? Well, now." Rodney couldn't help preening a little at that; if his reputation was finally filtering back to Washington, maybe a Nobel wasn't as far out of reach as he'd hoped.

"It does, indeed."

"If we could get started?" Woolsey pointedly sat down, and they took their seats. "Teyla and Director Weisman have already met, as Teyla managed to arrive at the meeting on time." A not-so-subtle stab. Teyla didn't quite smirk. Sheppard did, giving Rodney a sideways look. "The rest of our chief staff aren't available today, but I thought this would do for an informal introduction as this was your first opportunity to visit, Director." 

"Please, call me 'Nancy.'"

"All right, Nancy." Woolsey cleared his throat again, as if uncomfortable taking liberties. "The rest of our senior staff consists of our Chief Medical Officer, Jennifer Keller, Chief of Engineering, Radek Zelenka, and our Master Chief, Specialist Ronon Dex. We hold senior staff promptly at 0800 on Tuesdays, or as soon as Dr. McKay has had his two cups of coffee."

There was a polite ripple of laughter. 

"The reason I wanted the three of you to meet Nancy today is she will be joining us in Pegasus as Washington's liaison to Homeworld Security."

Rodney saw Sheppard go tense in the corner of his eye; interestingly, he noticed Nancy was watching Sheppard as well. 

Woolsey waved his hand. "I realize this might raise some concerns, but I stress that Nancy's role is not one of oversight, but that of...how did you put it, Nancy—?"

"A conduit. If I may, Mr. Woolsey?"

"Richard, please."

"Richard, then." She smiled, and even though Rodney would expect it from one these Washington lobbyist-types, he still found himself charmed. "The recent Wraith attack has the Pentagon worried, obviously, but our primary concern is the IOA—with its emphasis on bringing technology home to benefit the Earth rather than focusing on the Wraith threat directly—might be hobbling Atlantis' efforts. We'd like to encourage you with fresh resources to, one: make aggressive moves toward nullifying the Wraith; and, two: set up an early warning system near the final gate between galaxies that will allow Atlantis to notify Earth should any Wraith attempt to pass into the Milky Way." She paused to look them all over.

"That sounds like a very good idea," Teyla said. "Considering how little warning your planet had last time, and how large your population is. And certainly the citizens of Pegasus could use more assistance, assuming the Coalition's input was sought for any wider agenda."

Nancy nodded. "That would be up to your senior staff, obviously."

Sheppard eased back in his chair, his eyes narrowed thoughtfully. Rodney wasn't sure what he was thinking, but it all sounded great to him. More resources meant more weapons, more marines, and more scientists. Even the possibility of a modicum of oversight couldn't put him off in light of that.

"And you're needed in Pegasus...?" Sheppard's 'why' was unspoken.

Nancy smiled gamely. "We're talking a lot of money. Washington won't cough up without someone on hand to give the green light and send back reports. But I'm not here to give the yea or nay, John."

Rodney blinked. _John_?

"It gets pretty dangerous out there," Sheppard said, reluctance shading his voice. 

Woolsey spoke up. "The Colonel is understating the case significantly. Our casualty rate is fairly high, even for civilians who never leave the base."

Nancy nodded, her hair bouncing. "I'm aware of that. I've been read in and was given copies of Atlantis' after action reports."

This seemed to shock Sheppard, and Weisman looked apologetic. Woolsey appeared just slightly steamed. 

"Well, then. You know what you're getting into," Woolsey said after an uncomfortable pause. 

Teyla smiled and said diplomatically, "We will be happy to welcome you to our city."

Rodney wasn't so sure. 

The meeting broke up with the usual glad-handing, and Woolsey and Teyla offered to give Director Weisman a tour. Sheppard seemed about to trump them with an offer of his own, but Rodney grabbed him by the elbow and steered him toward the stairs. 

"Enough, already. You'll have plenty of time to flirt after we've secured the funds for the satellites she's going to build us. I can already see them," Rodney said. "Actually, it's a terrific idea, and I don't know why I hadn't thought of it myself."

Sheppard tugged his elbow away, his eyes following Nancy's progress toward the transporter.

Rodney unsuccessfully suppressed his annoyance. "Seriously? Because, yes, she's obviously your type—stick her and Chaya in a line-up and—"

"Put a sock in it, McKay," Sheppard said tightly. "She's my ex-wife."

"Oh." 

"Yeah: oh."

"Well, that explains a lot."

Sheppard gave him a narrow look and then headed down the hallway, presumably toward the mess. The situation definitely called for coffee, so Rodney trotted to keep up. 

"I mean, there was obviously serious subtext going on in that conversation; even I was aware of that."

"I can't believe the SGC gave her our reports," Sheppard muttered, looking completely freaked.

"They are about to give us a lot of money," Rodney said. "I suppose Homeworld didn't want to keep her in the dark about the risk as well as the need."

"I know but...they had to realize..." Sheppard's face contorted through a variety of emotions before smoothing out. "Okay. Fine."

"Yes?"

"Fine. It's...fine."

"Because she doesn't matter to you anymore, or because there's nothing you can do about it?" Rodney asked, fascinated despite the pang in his chest.

"Jesus, Rodney." John finally looked at him. "Don't forget you're supposed to be my friend here."

"Oh, I am," Rodney said reassuringly. "It's just so rare to see the elusive Sheppard emotions out in the wild. I lost my head for a second."

"Yeah, well, think about finding it, because I think we're going to need it." They both grabbed some coffee, and John sat down across from Rodney with a sigh. "I guess it's fine. They need the info if they're going to give us the money. And at least this way she can't accuse me of holding back the truth about our missions," he said, deeply bitter. 

"Ouch."

John shook his head. "Not her fault. I let her down."

Rodney sipped his coffee, considering his words for a moment. "You have never—this is a scientific observation, made with complete objectivity, Sheppard—you have never, to my knowledge, let anybody down who's depended on you. Not to the best of your abilities or the circumstances."

Sheppard stared at him. "Jeez, Rodney." He cleared his throat and dropped his eyes.

Rodney did the same. "Yes, well. I thought you should know."

"You're a...you're a real pal, buddy," John said. 

"I am, aren't I," Rodney said, feeling utterly smug. "I knew that."

John laughed. "Just promise me you won't ever change."

:::

The next Rodney heard of Nancy Weisman, she had taken over the office Caldwell used sometimes and was apparently well settled in. Rodney saw her on a few occasions laughing with Chuck and chatting with Director Woolsey but mainly, and most irksomely, she seemed to be monopolizing Sheppard's time a great deal.

Sheppard appeared to have gotten over whatever reservations he had about his ex-wife interfering in his current life and situation. Rodney saw them on more than one occasion out on a balcony, talking, standing far too close, heads angled together. They did make an attractive pair, and for a moment, Rodney's heart squeezed down tight. But no, it was embarrassment he felt; embarrassment on John's behalf. Rodney would have to intervene, as a friend, and let John know he was making a fool out of himself. It was seriously a bad idea to go chasing after old girlfriends; Rodney had experience in this area and he would share it if necessary to spare Sheppard the humiliation.

He just had to catch John alone.

This was much harder than it appeared; lately, it seemed, John was never outside arms' length of Nancy Weisman. Or vice versa. What made it worse was they both had a perfectly legitimate reason to be working so closely together: the project required a full debriefing on Atlantis' military activities in Pegasus, and Atlantis' military commander certainly was the right individual to provide it. 

Finally, Rodney just worked abysmally late one night and then stomped over to Sheppard's quarters to, quite literally, give him his 'wake up' call. 

"Sheppard, answer the door. I know you're in there," Rodney said, swiping the door crystal a second time.

Eventually, the door slid open to reveal a darkened room and Sheppard in a pair of track pants and dark blue T-shirt with Spock's face on it that said, 'I AM NOT SPOCK.' Rodney was momentarily speechless with geek lust before he looked beyond Sheppard and saw a slim, tanned shoulder peeking out from the shadows of Sheppard's bed sheets. 

"Hey. You okay, buddy?" John said.

"You stupid, stupid person," Rodney hissed. "I can't believe you."

"I, uh...what?" John rubbed his eyes.

"Great. Just great." Not only had Rodney caught them post-coitus, but they'd been asleep together, too. How adorable. "Just...just go. But you and I are talking about this first thing tomorrow, Sheppard," Rodney said, poking him right on Spock's nose.

John looked confused and more than a little shocked, but he nodded obediently.

Rodney stomped back to his quarters. He wasn't sure why he was so enraged, but he was positively a-boil. Oh, wait: he knew exactly why—John was embedded in his brain like a palimpsest; every relationship Rodney tried to have had been shadowed by this moron, and all because of John's obsession with a woman who had literally dumped him onto the bottom of the world. How had John put it that night? She "broke his heart like a cheap watch."

Years ago, it had been. Rodney had just broken up with Katie over his joke of a proposal; he and John were drinking up a storm in celebration, and John was playing with the engagement ring again, twirling the box in his hand. Rodney said something like, "It's the best I could do, considering the circumstances."

And John had said, "She should have said 'yes,' buddy. It's a hell of a lot nicer than the one I found for my ex-wife."

"You were married?" Somehow it had seemed like the unlikeliest thing in the universe; Sheppard seemed like such a lone and lonely wolf.

"Yeah. Just long enough for her to break my heart like a cheap watch." Then John looked embarrassed, as if having feelings were something to be ashamed of. "Anyway, I'm done with all that. I'm going solo from here on out." He gave Rodney a rueful smile.

And Rodney couldn't breathe, he just couldn't breathe, because suddenly, with every single particle of his being, he wanted John. Stubbornly, utterly contrarily, he wanted. John Sheppard, yes, God—how was it Rodney hadn't realized it before? No wonder. No wonder he'd practically fainted during quarantine. What an idiot he was. How clear it all seemed now, with the help of a six-pack of Molson and Sheppard incontrovertibly unavailable.

"You, uh. Don't seem like a quitter," Rodney had said, but John just spun the box and then dropped it into Rodney's hand. 

"I'm good at shooting things and flying straight, and that's about it."

"While I'm an unparalleled genius in all areas," Rodney said dryly, and John laughed.

"Obviously." He clapped Rodney on the back. "We're two of a kind, buddy."

And 'buddy,' Rodney had been ever since. But damn this Nancy if she'd come around and break John like a cheap watch again. Not if Rodney could help it.

:::

"Hey," John said when Rodney opened the door, and he gave Rodney a hesitant wave. "Wasn't sure if you'd be awake just yet." John's hair looked wet, as if he'd just showered, and he was wearing civvies for a change—jeans and a ragged white button-down. 

"Yes, I—yes. Come in." Now that they'd come to it, Rodney felt unaccountably nervous. But John was his friend and would understand why Rodney was concerned for him. Surely.

"You seemed pretty upset last night," John said, taking a few steps and then stopping by Rodney's desk to pick up his favorite orange dry erase marker. "Actually, I was kind of surprised at how upset you were." John twirled the marker between his fingers without looking at Rodney. "But that was just—see, Nancy and I aren't like you—"

"I'm worried about you," Rodney blurted. "Don't you remember what you told me?"

"Told you?" John finally met his eyes. "About Nancy? When?"

"You were pretty drunk," Rodney admitted. "It was a while ago. After I tried to propose to Katie? The time we all got locked into quarantine?"

"Oh, right," John said. "I climbed the tower," he said wistfully.

"God. Don't remind me." 

"And we got drunk. I told you about Nancy? I can't believe I told you," John said, looking down again. "But you don't have to worry; we're not—"

"Of course I'm worried about you!" Rodney shouted. "She broke your damned heart. Like a cheap watch, you said," he added, a little more quietly, because John was staring at him now, eyes wide, and Rodney wasn't sure what he was revealing, but it had to be something. Something that was making Sheppard move closer.

"Rodney," John said. "Nancy and I...hell. We've been talking a lot. Going over some shit. That's all. Just...figuring out what the hell happened back then. I'm not..." John ducked his head. "I don't love her anymore, all right? She can't break my heart."

Rodney's chest ached. He looked down at the way Sheppard was holding onto his dry erase marker. His favorite. Rodney rarely went anywhere without it. 

"You, ah. Slept with her."

"Old habits." John looked abashed. "And, well, it was a goodbye. A good one, this time. Also, I didn't know...you know?"

"Know?" Rodney wanted to walk out the door, but instead, he took a step closer. He reached out—he told himself he just wanted his pen back, but somehow his fingers got tangled up with John's, and John smiled, a goofy grin that showed a sharp canine on one side. Rodney warned himself to be careful of it when they kissed. 

"Yeah, I didn't know. About you, doofus," John said. "But when I saw your face last night..."

And then it struck Rodney how likely a scenario that was—he was going to kiss John. It was inevitable, because John squeezed his fingers and said, "Just don't you do it, okay?"

"Do? Do what?"

"Break my heart," John said, and leaned in and kissed him. 

But, oh, John's lips were very soft, and his teeth weren't an issue because he opened his mouth and his tongue swooped into Rodney's mouth and just took over, sliding sensuously against Rodney's so Rodney had to grab onto John and pull him closer for fear of just falling over. 

"But how did you know I—?" Rodney said, or tried to say, pressed against John's lips, which curved against his.

"Your face. Last night. Seriously, you should have seen it," John said, and hugged him close. 

It felt good, having John in his arms, but it wasn't enough, and because he'd seen John in that flight suit just one time too many, Rodney slipped both hands beneath the ever-loose waistband of Sheppard's pants and squeezed his butt cheeks.

John made a funny sound, muffled by Rodney's tongue, so Rodney did it again to confirm his findings. Definitely a happy sound. But John pushed Rodney back, the marker still in one hand and pressing against Rodney's bicep.

"Let me," John said. "All right?" 

Rodney nodded, already on board, dick hardening at the expression on John's face. 

"Because I need to—you don't know how crazy you've been making me. For way too long, Rodney," John said, pushing Rodney toward the bed and dropping Rodney's marker on the floor.

"Hey," Rodney said, only facetiously, because John was pushing up his T-shirt and shoving it over his head. "All right." He unbuttoned his own pants and kicked off his shoes, unwilling to wait, but froze a little at the sensation of John's fingers on his nipples. "Uh, careful, they're very..."

But John was careful, just brushing his thumbs over them lightly before bending to lick and suck and send shivers down Rodney's spine. 

"You seem to have a handle on that," Rodney said faintly, and brought his hand up to scruff his fingers through John's short hair. Oh, he'd wanted to do that for weeks, and from the delicious groan John made against Rodney's chest, it was a good move. "Let me just..." Rodney sat on the bed and pulled John with him until they were lying down, and this was fantastic, this was just terrific—Rodney spread his legs and trapped John between his thighs to make it clear just what he wanted, not that he was sure they'd both make it at this rate. John ground their hips together, and he was using the most delicate application of teeth now, tugging and sucking, and Rodney's nipples were sending a subspace signal to his cock.

"You'd better fuck me soon," Rodney said urgently. "Not that I'm telling you your business."

"Jesus, give me a break, would you?" John said, and climbed away to get his clothing off. Rodney took the opportunity to reach into his side drawer for a condom and his bottle of lube, hastily tossing the folded washcloth over his newly acquired dildo. Someday soon for that.

"Here." He turned to hand the stuff John. "Oh. You're naked." He was very pretty naked.

"Surprise," John said dryly and knelt onto the bed to take the bottle and packet. His tiny, stiff nipples were almost hidden in his dark chest hair, but Rodney reached out and rubbed his thumb over the right one, making John suck in his breath. Then Rodney's eyes traveled down. John's cock was thick and blood dark. Circumcised, of course. Foolish Americans. Still, quite beautiful in its way, and Rodney wanted to put his mouth on it immediately. He licked his lips.

"Not this time," John said, his voice low and tense. "Rodney, I can't—"

"Yes, yes. I...oh, God." Rodney's entire body was hot and tight with wanting it. He lay down and bent his knees back, letting John push and shove him into a more comfortable position with his hips lifted. 

"Good?" John asked, sounding a little nervous.

"Yes. Yes," Rodney said. It was the only word he was able to think.

"All right," John said as he shouldered Rodney's knee and fingered him open with two slick fingers. "God, Rodney," John said, "you're so hot," and Rodney moaned softly feeling that soft touch inside. It felt perfect. God, he wanted this. He wanted John's cock, too, but right now it was enough just to feel John's fingers inside him, fucking him.

"Yes. Holy Christ," Rodney said, because—right there. Right there. He opened his eyes, and John was smiling at him. Bastard. Well, fine. Rodney arched his back and spread his legs a little.

John's eyes widened. 

Hah! Rodney smiled, and a second later, his leg was thrown to the side and John's tongue was in his mouth. John's fingers were still inside him, though, and now John was fucking him in both ends. Rodney couldn't hear his own moans, they were being stifled by John's tongue, but every time John's fingers hit that particular spot he clenched up tight in reaction. When John finally pulled away, Rodney was ready to do anything to get John's cock inside him. 

"Good?" John asked, and Rodney nodded frantically. John's smile could have smelted titanium. He pulled away for a second and Rodney closed his eyes, because if he watched John getting ready he might spontaneously burst into flame, and that would be bad.

Then John was over him, pushing into him, slowly spreading him open with his cock. "Slow, fuck," John said, and Rodney realized he was talking to himself. Rodney reached up and gripped John's forearm to show him how good it felt. God, so good. 

"Best," Rodney said. "This is the best." 

"Yeah?" John's teeth were showing in either a smile or a grimace; Rodney hoped it was a smile. "So good. God, Rodney," he said, and bowed his head. Rodney felt him pull back and then shove in and, yes—Rodney tilted his hips as much as he could. He didn't care if he looked like a total slut; he wanted this. He wanted every inch of that thick cock.

John gave it to him, thrusting in and then pulling back, again, and then again, faster now that Rodney was egging him on with his hands and his hips. 

"God, oh, God," Rodney said. "Fuck—" He squeezed his hand between them and grabbed his cock. 

John looked down, his eyes hot, and panted out, "Yeah, come for me. Come for me, Rodney. I wanna see."

Rodney wanted it too. He wanted it with every fiber of his being, from his ass to his balls to his cock. He jerked himself fast, squeezing softly over the head, and bit back a moan as he started to clench up around John's cock. 

"Beautiful," John said as Rodney came, jizz spurting up to land on his belly. John slowed down and leaned over him, rolling his hips slowly, grinding against Rodney hard, and Rodney moaned and tightened up as he spurted again. "Good, right?" John asked when Rodney whimpered softly and collapsed.

"No, it was terrible," Rodney said. "Please let's never, ever repea—oh!" John's groin smacked against his ass, and Rodney grinned, relaxing and hooking his legs around John's waist as he proceeded to fuck Rodney hard and fast, worrying not even a little tiny bit about Rodney's pleasure any more—which was fine, perfectly understandable. John's eyes were wandering over Rodney's face, his nipples, and his spent cock, which was twitching a little with each thrust of John's hips. It wasn't Rodney's fault if he had an exceedingly sensitive ass. He moaned a little, softly, out of the pure luxury of being well fucked. It had been a long damned time.

John leaned down to kiss him and Rodney went up on his elbows, happy to taste John's mouth again. 

"Rodney," John said against Rodney's lips, his hips jerking unevenly a few times before he went still. "Holy fuck." He lowered his face against Rodney's neck and panted softly. 

"John," Rodney said, taking a rare opportunity to hold Sheppard. God knew how long it would last. Did John cuddle? Had he been cuddling with Nancy? The thought was a slightly bitter one, and Rodney put it aside. That had been a 'goodbye,' John said. Closing the loop, apparently. Rodney could understand. He and Jennifer had had a few of those loops, actually.

Rodney liked this one much better. Five years was a long time to get here, but damn it, he'd hold on as long as he could.

"Okay," John said. "Just let me." He reached down and then pulled away, and Rodney resigned himself to letting go for a while. But John returned a moment later and used the edge of the bed sheet to wipe down Rodney's abdomen before pulling him close once again.

"So...not terrible, is what you're saying," John said, a smile in his voice.

"Far be it for me to stoke your ego, but no."

"Cool."

"Sheppard...what changed?" Cripes. What in blazes had made Rodney say that? He'd had absolutely no intention of bringing that up, ever. "Never mind," he said quickly, but John was already pulling away slightly looking gut-punched. 

"Well, uh—" John bit his lips together. "I guess I owe you that."

"Don't...I already said it didn't matter," Rodney said. 

John sighed and punched up the pillow behind his head. "I don't remember what I told you about me and Nancy, about what broke us up."

"She broke your heart, you said. She gave you the papers right before Antarctica. Something about decisions and compromises and sacrifices..."

"Yeah." John's voice went hoarse. "Well, I thought it was all my fault. Everything else was, back then, anyway. Only we started talking about it again. And she made me see it's okay to share the blame. I mean, we didn't talk careers at all before we got married. And that was only one part of what went wrong."

Rodney chewed his lower lip and pondered this. Then he thought about his last conversation with Jennifer, in which he admitted he was partially at fault. "That was nice of her—I mean, I'm glad she was finally honest with you."

"Yeah, especially since it made me decide I deserved another shot."

"Another shot?" Rodney turned his head. 

"Another shot on the Ferris wheel," John said, sounding pleased as he tucked his fingers around Rodney's arm and closed his eyes. Rodney leaned over and kissed Sheppard's ridiculous ear, and his ridiculous hair, and the crinkle in his ridiculous forehead for good measure, before laying a final soft kiss on his lips.

John's eyes opened and his mouth curved in an absurdly attractive grin. Rodney huffed and dropped back down by his side.

"Well, it's certainly a good thing I stepped in to keep you from making a terrible mistake." 

"Oh, yeah? What mistake is that?" John stroked Rodney's arm.

"You should never get back together with your ex."

"I wasn’t—I told you. We were just closing the loop. She and I weren't together."

"Does she know that?" Rodney said, poking John in the chest. 

John grinned and grabbed Rodney's finger. "Yep. And what about Jennifer—is that all done?"

"Of course. I told you, I'm a genius about these things."

"About pretty much everything, I thought."

"That's right; I'm an unparalleled genius in pretty much all fields."

"Oh yeah? What about philosophy?"

"Hmm? What?" Rodney frowned. 

"Podiatry? Bungee jumping?"

"All fields of _interest_ , Sheppard. I should think that part would be obvious."

"Right, obvious." John laughed and hugged him closer. "Seriously, buddy," he said, his voice going soft. "Never, ever change."

And Rodney promised himself he wouldn't.

 

..................................  
July 20, 2015  
San Francisco, CA


End file.
